Someone to Watch Over Me
by the frustrated writer
Summary: Years after,Tsukushi is reunited again with Rui after he has left Japan to begin a new life for himself. Will Tsukushi ever get over the death of Tsukasa and their baby to realize her feelings for Rui?
1. Someone to Watch Over Me

CHAPTER 1  
  
It is autumn again here in New York. This is my favorite time of the year. It is such a sight to behold---the bronzed and golden leaves falling from the trees creating a blanket of tranquility that precedes the inevitability of winter.  
  
Change...that is what autumn represents for me. Change and hope that someday, after the beautiful but lonely winter, spring with its vibrancy and life will flourish once more.  
  
It is during this time when I think about you more often. Fate has never been kind to me. I have lost something that has never been mine in the first place. And that is you.  
  
My heart had been broken so many times over because you were in love with somebody else. That alone was painful enough. But it was my bestfriend whom I treated as a brother you fell in love with. It was exquisite pain whenever I would witness you two holding hands or exchanging a fleeting kiss whenever you two thought no one was looking. I had to witness all of it.  
  
I was happy for you and him. I know that I would always be just a friend to you. And I get hurt whenever I would see you cry over him. If I could just kiss your troubles aw.ay, I would. I would never make you cry.  
  
That day when I asked you to migrate with me, I have long wanted to ask you that. And when I kissed you, I felt it right then. You were never meant to be mine. Your heart belongs to him. And I accepted it, it was fate. But the rage in my heart that I could not love you destroyed me completely.  
  
I helped him get back together with you. I saw you regain the radiance in your smile, and it palliated my agony somehow. Just before leaving to surprise you in Barcelona, I threatened him: that I would take you away from him forever if he breaks your heart again. I meant every word of that.  
  
So I left our homeland, having done my part to bring your happiness. I have tried to gain mine through the years. I acquired my masteral degree in Economics in NYU. At the same time, I was fortunate enough to be granted a full scholarship in Julliard. I set up my own consultation firm based in New York and have just recently expanded in Chicago and San Francisco. Right now, I am also promoting an album that I made which carries most of the compositions in violin that I've written and compiled over the years.  
  
Despite what most people say, I never saw myself as successful. For me, killiing myself with so many things to do numbs me as I go home to my flat. I am constantly surrounded by beautiful people and things, yet I still yearn for your exquisite smile. I have never forgotten you, your smile, nor the way you moved me.  
  
I wonder how you are getting along with him. But I never asked about you during my overseas calls to the other F4. It's not that I've forgotten, it's because I still haven't.  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
I was on my way to work when I received a call from my cellphone.  
  
What he told me had left me standing in the middle of Wall Street for ten minutes after he had hung up. I immediately called the office and told my secretary to cancel all my meetings that day and to book me the earliest flight to Taipei.  
  
An international group of terrorists had taken hostage of you and Tsukasa while you two were touring Athens. After Tsukasa's mother paid the terrorists, they decided to kill you two so there would be no witnesses. The Interpol barely arrived in time to save you two but they had already killed Tsukasa in his effort to save you. You were unconscious then so you didn't know what had happened yet. You lost both Tsukasa and the baby.  
  
They wanted me to break the news to you. You'll be regaining consciousness soon.  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
You were alone when I visited the hospital that morning. Soujiro and Akira had gone home after spending the night there to watch over you. The blinds were shut and the only source of light came from a table lamp at the corner of the room. Your parents were still on their way from the mainland. You were sleeping peacefully; you looked so pale yet serene.  
  
I just stood there infront of your bed, with a lump in my throat. Why do these things always happen to you? If only I could shoulder all these for you. You've carried the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long. You are the epitome of inner strength and determination. You are the person whom I have wanted to become. That's why I left everything here in Japan, to start over on my own without the prestige nor money that my family had. And now this.  
  
I am so afraid that may be this would truly break your strong, brave spirit. And it was my task to inform you. I was musing these thoughts and was about to turn around to get coffee outside when I heard your voice.  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
"Rui," she whispered, while she sat up. She looked around the room and then at her hospital gown. "Where am I?"  
  
Rui moved closer to the bed and gently laid his hand upon hers. "Makino, you're in the hospital. You're safe now. Thank God, you're alive and well."  
  
Then she remembered. She covered her face with her hands and gave a long mournful wail. "No, no, no! Where is Tsukasa? Bring me to Doumyouji!" Makino tried to get out of the bed but almost fell on the floor if not for Rui. The stitches on her shoulder and thigh hurt.  
  
"What happened to Tsukasa?" Makino was crying uncontrollably on Rui's chest.  
  
Hanazawa Rui was still trying to control his emotions so he could deliver the sad news. "Makino, from what they told me Doumyouji was shot in the back when he tried to shield you from the gunfire. I still haven't gone to see him. My flight arrived late last night so I visited you first."  
  
"That idiot thinks too much of himself! I want to see him right now," Makino ordered, still wincing. She mumbled, "If stupidity had a name."  
  
Rui held her shoulders back. Unable to hold it any longer, a tear slid down his cheek. "Makino, Tsukasa died yesterday. The bullets hit his heart, lungs, and liver. You were unconscious already before he died from gunshot wounds. I'm so sorry."  
  
Makino's eyes glazed with unshed tears and became pale. Rui hugged her, unable to bear to see her so helpless and fragile. She was trembling as she cried silently for Doumyouji and her loss. They clung to each other, comforting each other as they both cried silently.  
  
It was Rui who broke the embrace. "Tsukushi, there is one more thing that I need to tell you." He took a shaky breath and plunged. "When you fell from the landing while trying to escape with Tsukasa, you hit your head on the pavement and lost consciousness. You had hemorrhaged badly as a result from the fall. Makino Tsukushi, you were already two months pregnant. The paramedics arrived late and by then there was nothing that they could do. You had a miscarriage, the baby was too little for it to survive."  
  
Makino Tsukushi broke down completely, pulling off all the IV lines from her wrist, and throwing the vase of flowers from the night table on the floor. "No! No! No! That's not true! Bring me to Tsukasa! You're lying! How could you lie to me! I hate you! I want to die!"  
  
Rui tried to restrain her to prevent Makino from injuring herself further. "Go ahead and cry. Cry it out of your system. That's not true, you don't want to die. Tsukasa sacrificed himself so you could live. So you must live."  
  
Upon hearing Doumyouji's name, Makino calmed down a little but the torrent of tears continued. She held on to Rui and cried on his chest. "How can I go on without him? I'm so lost without him. And the baby, we had a baby..." She grasped at Rui's sleeve.  
  
It pained him to watch her anguish, at the same time feeling the loss of his childhood friend. He placed his hand on her wet cheek. "He gave you another chance in life. Live, don't waste it."  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
For a couple of days, I watched over her. I was afraid for her. Whenever she would wake up, she would look straight ahead as if there were no people in front of her. She rarely answers questions, with her voice barely a whisper, and would not even acknowledge those who came to visit her. Even her parents don't know what to do.  
  
A hand reached out from across the table. "Hanazawa san, I know how close the two of you were before. You're the only one who can help her now," Makino Cheiko said pleadingly, her voice cracking.  
  
I sighed. "I'll do everything to shoulder all her pain right now. But this is something that only she can help herself with. If she will do her part, I can definitely do mine."  
  
"Please do, Rui," her mother replied. Her tears flowing again, I sat beside Makino's mother and gave her the little comfort I could offer.  
  
It was during this time when Doumyouji's mother and sister arrived. Never would I have guessed what Doumyouji Kaede had planned to say.  
  
There was a knock on the door. I opened it, expecting it to be Soujiro or Akira. It was Tsubaki and Doumyouji Kaede.  
  
"Good afternoon, Auntie," I bowed to Doumyouji Kaede respectfully and stepped back to let them in. Tsubaki was already in tears and hugged me as a way of greeting. "How is she, Rui?"  
  
Still puzzled as to why Doumyouji Kaede would visit Makino, I replied, "She's not doing very well. Makino has been conscious already but ever since I broke the news to her, all she does is stare ahead and rarely talks to people. She's still not eating." We all look at Makino, who was awake and lying on her side. I glanced at Doumyouji Kaede. She looks like she lost weight, and looks tired, with black circles under her puffy eyes.  
  
Ignoring Makino's mother, who stood up when they entered the room. Doumyouji Kaede went to the other side of her bed. Upon seeing her, Makino asked tonelessly, "What do you want?"  
  
The empress of the Doumyouji Group of companies lifted her chin slightly and arched an eyebrow. "Look at yourself, lying there all pitiful and useless. My son would have been ashamed to see you right now. Never have I seen such a weak and fragile person. I expect you to live up to the memory of the person of whom my son had so loved so much."  
  
"Mother," Tsubaki exclaimed, shocked by her mother's words. I laid my hand on Tsubaki's shoulder, urging her to keep quiet. Unbelievably, Doumyouji Kaede is trying to help Makino.  
  
"How dare you go over my daughter's room and insult her like that!" Makino's mother raised her voice.  
  
Still ignoring Makino Cheiko, Doumyouji Kaede locked eyes with Makino. "I want to talk to her alone." I escorted Tsubaki and Aunt Cheiko out of the room who were both hesitant to leave.  
  
"Mrs. Makino," Tsubaki started to say, her hand on Mrs. Makino's arm. "I'm so sorry about what happened to Tsukushi. I'm also sorry for my mother's outburst. We came here to tell you and Tsukushi that Tsukasa's remains were cremated yesterday and that we'll be transferring his ashes in our mausoleum tomorrow."  
  
"I am sorry, dear," Mrs. Makino replied, sighing heavily. "I was so worried over Tsukushi that I did not even bother to send you our condolences. How is your mother holding up? I can imagine how she must feel."  
  
"She refuses to eat and doesn't leave her room. She turned over her responsibilities to her CEO. I can sometimes hear her crying Tsukasa's name."  
  
Doumyouji is blaming herself with Tsukasa's demise. I could only surmise that she came here not to blame Tsukushi but to ask forgiveness.  
  
CHAPTER 6  
  
"Tsukasa's remains were cremated yesterday. We will be moving his ashes tomorrow inside the family mausoleum. I expect you to be there." And without another word, Doumyouji Kaede turned around and walked out of the room.  
  
After a few moments, Tsubaki, Aunt Cheiko, and I went inside. Tsubaki went to Tsukushi and hugged her. "Tsukushi, how are you? I'm sorry I couldn't visit you earlier. We were preparing for...," she broke off and cried on Tsukushi's shoulder.  
  
They were both hugging and crying, these two women from extreme poles of background. One was the heiress of one of the largest conglomerate of hotels in the world, who grew up surrounded by luxury and opulence, while the other lives a hand-to-mouth existence, who had two jobs to juggle and is still studying. Two equally strong and fearless women brought together by a tragedy.  
  
I turned to Aunt Cheiko. "I think it would be better if you go home and rest, Mrs. Makino. You need to sleep. Don't worry, I'll be up all night to watch over her."  
  
Tsukushi's mother was reluctant to leave but thought it might be better if she rested. "Okay, Hanazawa san," she agreed. "I'll rest tonight. It'll be a busy day tomorrow. Just call me if you need anything." She gathered her things and kissed Tsukushii good night. "Now, you be a good girl. Master Hanazawa will watch over you. I'll be going home to rest and bring your things tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow, Tsubaki." She kissed me before she went out of the door. "Thank you for always being there for her, Rui."  
  
I closed the door and sat down on the sofa. Tsubaki kissed Tsukushi on the forehead and bade her good night. "Rui, I'll be heading for home now. I'll be seeing the two of you tomorrow."  
  
I stood up and went over Tsukushi's bed. Her eyes were still glazed with tears. She was holding out her hand to me. "Thank you, Rui. For being here with me." I brought her hand up my cheek and closed my eyes. "Always, I'll be here always." 


	2. The Eulogy of Doumyouji Tsukasa

CHAPTER 7  
  
It was a simple ceremony that day when they transferred Tsukasa's ashes to the mausoleum. The Doumyoujis disregarded the traditional burial ceremony and had Tsukasa's remains cremated. There were no press people; the Doumyoujis requested that they may mourn in peace. Only the immediate family and close friends were there.  
  
All of them were wearing white, color of death. Makino's parents were there, with Makino in a wheelchair and an IV line attached to the back of her hand. She was actually too weak to go out of the hospital as she had hemorrhaged but I knew that her spirit willed her body to go.  
  
Tsukasa's picture was propped beside the marble urn containing his ashes. I could see clearly that Tsukushi was looking at Tsukasa's picture as if trying to memorize his features. My heart wrenched painfully as I saw her smile sadly with tears welling up in her expressive eyes.  
  
We all light candles as we silently reminisce those memorable times with Tsukasa.  
  
He was such a 'pighead' as Tsukushi crudely but appropriately termed. Ever since we were kids, Tsukasa had tantrum problems which he did not outgrow. Probably because he was seeking attention with his violent behavior or he knew he could get away with anything because he was aware that he was the Doumyouji heir. Either way, nobody had the guts to oppose him. The only fight that ever happened between us F4 was my stand off with Tsukasa over Tsukushi.  
  
Was it worth it? Fighting one of your bestfriends over a small bit of a girl? Yes, it was. Tsukushi, for me, was a breath of fresh air. She is naive, innocent, and pure; our 'hardworking virgin.' She was something that I am not but hoped to be. I was surprised and amused the first time we met on the roof. She was shouting 'Pighead 4' on top of her lungs. I had to admit, I finally met a girl who, despite her poor circumstances, was brave enough to go against us. We all had hordes of female worshippers, packs of hounds eager for our blood. These girls would throw themselves at our feet, wishing to earn bragging points by sleeping with one of us and being the girl-of-the-moment, which Soujiro and Akira would gladly partake of. Beneath my cool and indifferent exterior, I was very much disgusted by their lack of modesty.  
  
Going back to Tsukushi, I was rude to her the first few times she tried to talk to me. I was suspicious; she would seemingly 'chance' upon me on the rooftop, she would watch me as I play my violin in the music room. Ever since I rescued her from those boys who tried to molest her, I think she acquired what one would term 'hero worship.' Frankly, I was a bit embarrased that she would look at me with those huge eyes of hers as if I were her knight in shining armor. I'm just your average decent guy who is disgusted by men taking advantage of helpless females.  
  
Tsukasa tormented Tsukushi frequently, almost to the point of obsession. He relentlessly badgered her until she would physically succumb to his taunts. I found it humorous that Tsukasa would also be the one to protect her if somebody else were to step in and abuse what he regarded as his private property. In my opinion, Tsukasa's attraction to Tsukushi began when he became curious as to why Tsukushi hated him so much when all the people around him either adored him or feared him. Truthfully speaking, my bestfriend was not, if I may say so, regarded as an intellectual being. Everyone had their personal demons to sort out; I guess in Tsukasa's case, his violent nature and temperament would often be the cause of his troubles.  
  
Looking at his picture, I smiled inwardly. Tsukasa may be a 'madman' to others but to the three of us, he is one loyal and generous brother. Despite his shortcomings, the real Tsukasa was pure and innocent. Amongst the three of us, he was the last to give up his virginal status. I could only surmise that this was partly because, same as yours truly, he never liked sex given to him so freely and so casually as everything else, and partly because Tsubaki kept her eye on him even from Switzerland and would beat him up to a pulp if he crossed the line.  
  
After I had left for my sojourn in New York, Tsukasa would frequently shuttle back and forth between New York and Tokyo. Doumyouji Kaede still refused to acknowledge Tsukushi but she had ultimately turned a blind eye on Tsukasa and Tsukushi's relationship. Tsukasa had enough sense to do his duties and train under the supervision of his mother whenever he was in New York. From what I've heard, he was a natural in the management of their family's chain of boutique hotels. But their corporation was vast and diversified so as time wore on, he became more and more involved in the intricacies of management of boutique hotels and had less and less time for Tsukushi.  
  
On the other hand, Tsukushi resumed her studies after working for a year at the travel agency and saving enough money for her tuition. She is currently taking another course, Tourism. I am just so proud of her.  
  
A couple of months before Tsukasa and Tsukushi took off for their European tour, he proposed to her. Mentally shaking my head, I could imagine the two of them arguing; with Tsukasa 'demanding' Tsukushii get married to him and Tsukushi refusing to because of his lack of consideration for her sensibilities. Anyhow, they were able to sort things out and became engaged. They started their tour in Italy; they visited Florence, Venice, Milan, and Rome. They were bound for Spain right after Greece where they planned to visit Sevilla, Madrid, and Barcelona. Tsukasa and Tsukushi had agreed to wed in secret in Barcelona, in the quaint chapel that I've written to him about before. They never made it to Spain.  
  
This was Tsukasa and Tsukushi's tragedy. Their love, punctuated by numerous difficulties and obstacles, all gone to waste. 


	3. Rui's KissPG Warning

CHAPTER 8  
  
"Makino, I would like to have a word with you." It was Doumyouji Kaede who touched Tsukushi's arm as she was turning around to go home. Doumyouji Kaede waited for everybody to exit the mausoleum before she spoke again.  
  
"I have learned of my son's plan to elope with you and get married in Barcelona only after the accident. Although I admit if I had learned sooner of this plan, I would've hindered it in any way I can. After the accident had happened, I also learned that you were pregnant and that you had a miscarriage. That would've been my grandchild who would carry the name Doumyouji." She walked over to Tsukasa's framed picture and stared at it. "I am not here to apologize for all the mistakes I've created regarding your relationship with my son."  
  
She faced Tsukushi again. "I have seen my own spirit and determination in your eyes. I was once like you. I would never accept a simple apology for all the atrocities I've done to you if I were in your place. But the truth of the matter is that Tsukasa's gone. And I owe it to his memory to continue protecting and taking care of the person he most loved."  
  
Tsukushi arched an eyebrow. "You're right, I won't. You were the reason why we had to hide. If it weren't for you, Tsukasa and I would have had a family and none of this would have happened."  
  
Doumyouji Kaede ruefully smiled. "None of us won in the end. I lost my son and grandchild, just as you have lost the love of your life and unborn child. We're equal now."  
  
"So what are you suggesting?" Tsukushi crossed her arms.  
  
"That I would adopt you."  
  
Tsukushi's jaw dropped. "Why would you do that?"  
  
"As I have told you, I will take upon myself the last act my son has died for as his last wish---to see you taken care of." She walked pass Tsukushi who was still astonished at her proposition and stopped at the door. "Think about it." Without turning back, Doumyouji Kaede left.  
  
CHAPTER 9  
  
I sat there on the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean. The salty air stung my eyes, hurting them. Tears pooled in them, waiting for the downpour.  
  
"Why does it always have to be me? Why do the heavens punish me? Why does the universe conspire against my happiness?" I hurled a rock over the cliff and unto the ocean. "Why me?!!" I shouted to the sky. Mentally cursing my fate, I kept on hurling stones over the cliff, my eyes blinded by tears. I wished to hurl myself into the ocean's embrace if Hanazawa Rui was not there behind me.  
  
A hand turned me around and crushed me against his hard chest. Compassion.comfort.kindness. I came undone. Closing my eyes, I entwined my arms around his neck and buried my face in his thick sweater. Hanazawa Rui closed his eyes too, tightening his embrace. I let the tears flow, dampening his sweater.  
  
I cried for my love, Tsukasa. We have gone through hell and beyond and opposed the world with our love. We held the hope that someday the world will be able to accept our love. I never thought anything can ever break us apart. Until death, that is. You should have let me die, Tsukasa. There is life in me yet but I can never feel alive again.  
  
I cried for my unborn child. Tsukasa, take care of our little angel. Our child.I should have been the mother of your children, Tsukasa. Had our child survived, my loss would have been palliated somehow your demise.  
  
Lastly, I cried for myself. Alone in this world.where will I go now? What direction should I take? The excruciating pain of having taken away everything you hold dear, I am bleeding inside. Empty.empty and alone. I can feel myself slowly sinking into that fathomless abyss of despair and desolation. I am bleeding inside yet I can feel nothing anymore. I am the living dead.  
  
I think these thoughts were the cause of the release of our inhibitions. The emotional abyss that I was talking about had already begun to denervate me as I sought to find something to hold on to. It was at that moment I felt Hanazawa Rui's lips brushed my forehead, his hand stroking my long hair. Tears flowed once more. Thank you, Rui. How many times have you always saved me? From the others and from myself. No one can understand me like you do. Before I became aware of what I was doing, my hand stroked his hair and twirled the softness in my fingers. His lips brushed against my temple this time. Pure instinct made me raise my head to level my head with his chin. Rui lowered his lips and met mine.  
  
Warmth immediately spread from his lips into mine, infusing my soul with life. I succumbed to the sweetness of Rui's kiss, his strong arms enveloping my petite frame. His callused hand cradled my face gently while his other hand stroked the small of my back. We were kissing and crying at the same time. I buried my fingers in his hair and traced a finger along his jaw down to his adam's apple. Rui deepened the kiss, exerted a little more pressure at my back. My hands moved up and down the front of his sweater, feeling his hard, broad chest underneath the chenille sweater. I vaguely remembered hearing a sigh from Rui's lips.  
  
He touched the tip of his tongue on my lips, as if asking permission. I parted my lips slightly to this new sensation. The kiss exploded as our tongues frolicked with each other.  
  
Something akin to lava flowed in my veins; this slowly building heat made me restless. I could feel Rui's kiss healing, touching, caressing my wounded soul. This spread across my body, and made my skin inflamed and acutely sensitive to tactile stimulation. Our tongues wildly sought each other, generating more and more heat. His index finger traced my jaw, my chin, down to my collarbone, and even lower. My hands found themselves under Rui's sweater somehow, lightly touching his muscular chest. A barely audible moan escaped his lips. "Tsukushi," he whispered, raggedly. I raked my fingers lower. 


	4. The Beginning of the Story

CHAPTER 10  
  
This is the beginning of our story.  
  
I had once told Hirumi that our story, Tsukushi and I, never really began. There were numerous times that I could've started something with Tsukushi, knowing that she liked me in those earlier days. Yet there was Shizuka holding me back. I liked Tsukushi, but I loved Shizuka then. If I was the first guy to ever take an interest in protecting Tsukushi, Shizuka was the first girl who ever took care of me. Back then, I was too young to differentiate friendship from love. What did an 18-year old know about love back then anyway?  
  
I knew that Tsukushi wasn't ready, although almost two years have elapsed since Tsukasa passed away. I remember that night when we went to the beach, I knew Tsukushi and Tsukasa were sharing a room. I was sitting on the beach late that night, crying my heart out for Shizuka. That trip to France changed me. I had tried to do everything to make Shizuka love me, even to the point of seducing her. She was already a woman of the world; too mature to fall for it. And so I went home with my tail between my legs, my wounded pride and broken heart wanting solace. Ego, which I thought I never had, even made my go out and get laid with a couple of girls whom I met with Akira and Soujiro, which Tsukushi found out when she and Tsukasa went out with us to the bar. When I saw Tsukushi that night on the beach, I realized too late my mistake. When I asked her to hold me for a few minutes, I had kissed her. It was not a passionate kiss, it was a kiss of empathy and compassion from Tsukushi which saved me from the emotional blackhole that I was in during those dark times. For that, I was most grateful for. Memories of those times I had scorned her adoration flashed in my head during that kiss. Here was a girl with everything I had ever wanted; and I turned her away. It was too late.  
  
I never told her how I felt, except that day when I asked her to migrate with me to the States. I had kissed her then, and felt her answer. Whatever she felt for me when we first met wasn't there anymore. It crushed me.  
  
This is my last chance with Tsukushi that I'm allowing myself to go beyond my limits. I'm not going to let her go this time. Behind her brave exterior, I know she needs me. Just as I need her.  
  
I carried her all the way back to the cottage where we've stayed for a couple of weeks after we learned of Tsukasa's engagement, never breaking contact with her lips. I laid her on the couch and broke off from our kiss. "I know you're not ready. I don't know if and when you'll ever be. All I want is a chance to make you happy once more, if not happier than with your time with Tsukasa. I'm not expecting anything from you; I just want you to forget the pain because I can't bear what you're doing to yourself anymore."  
  
I removed my sweater as I looked into her eyes as I carefully watched her expression. In her eyes was a mixture of passion, confusion, and pain. I brushed a strand of her hair from her face. Her hand caressed my nape and my face as I lowered my face and captured her lips once more.  
  
We never made love that night. I didn't expect she would. But I had at least found out that 'something' was there. She fell asleep in my arms, her tears dampening my chest while she was sleeping. I kissed her forehead and drifted off to sleep.  
  
CHAPTER 11  
  
I woke up before she did, smiling to myself as I cuddled her closer to me. She stirred in her sleep, and turned her back to me. I carefully removed my arm and got up from the couch. Glancing inside the ref, I decided to prepare omelette and French toast. After brewing the coffee, I was skillfully turning the omelette and French toast simultaneously when I heard a thump on the floor.  
  
Tsukushi had turned and fallen from the couch. I chuckled as I turned off the range and went to help her up. "Good morning."  
  
Her eyes widened and her face turned crimson as she noticed that she was wearing my sweater and remembered what happened last night. "Morning," she replied, sneaking a glance at me.  
  
She was at a loss for words when her stomach suddenly growled when she smelled the toast and coffee. Her face turned beet red. "You cooked?"  
  
I nodded and laughed at her as she threw me a pillow from the couch. "My chef in New York taught me some survival stuff on cooking. You have to try my soufflé sometime." I got the omelette and toast and placed them on the serving platters.  
  
"The great Hanazawa cooks? This I have to see to believe." She stood up and tugged at my sweater which reached just above her knees. Tsukushi looked at the omelette doubtfully as she sat down and I began heaping a generous amount of omelette and toast on her plate.  
  
I got some for myself and sampled my own cooking. "It's a little sweeter than what I usually make, considering you like sweet stuff." She cut a small piece of toast and tried it. Tsukushi closed her eyes and smiled. "Mmm, it's excellent!"  
  
I laughed at her again. We ate in silence, just enjoying the relaxed atmosphere. "I'll have to go back to the New York office tonight. I've been neglecting work for the past couple of weeks."  
  
There was an expression of doubt and worry that showed in her face for a split second. "Of course. I have work to do also tonight." 


	5. The Beginning of the Story continued

"Have you ever heard of Amanpulo," I asked, sipping from my cup.  
  
Tsukushi nodded, wiping her mouth with her napkin. "Who hasn't? It's one of the recently discovered beaches by the ultraelite. I've heard Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman used to go there before their divorce."  
  
"Amanpulo is situated on the western group of islands of the Philippines. As you know, the country itself is composed of more than 7,000 islands," I lectured, leaning back on my chair. "It is one of the most pristine beaches that I've ever visited in all my travels. That is why a few years ago, I had a cottage commissioned there. I'm planning to visit my property this weekend so I invited the Mimiasakas to go with me." I paused, busying myself with my toast and not looking at Tsukushi. Oh, what the heck. "Would you like to come along?"  
  
She squealed like a little girl as her eyes almost burst out of their sockets. "I would love to go! I've dreamed of going there as soon as I've heard about it. I just haven't found the time."  
  
I chuckled as I watched her get excited about the trip, chatting away about what to wear. So, she finally realized that dressing up isn't just a fashion thing. I think Auntie had a good influence on her.  
  
* * * *  
  
We left the cottage late afternoon. I'll miss this place again. "Ready?" A double entendre. I sighed.  
  
She nodded, putting her seatbelt on and adjusting her cap. She gave me one of her happy smiles, which was now rare.  
  
Once more, we left our little haven and headed back to the city. We drove in companionable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Tsukushi fell asleep after an hour of driving. I glanced at her sleeping form. On her neck nestled the Saturn necklace Tsukasa gave her. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to concentrate on the road before me. How am I going to measure up to Tsukasa's memory? 


	6. Auntie Kaede

CHAPTER 11  
  
All throughout the week, Tsukushi seemed dazed and preoccupied. Her fingers touched her lips for the nth time within the hour as she gazed at the view from her office at the top floor of the Doumyouji Group building. There was only one thought in her mind. "Rui."  
  
Her secretary, Nanami, who had been reading aloud the notes she made on Tsukushi's dictation a while ago suddenly stopped. "Madame, do you want me to add that to your dictation?"  
  
Startled, Tsukushi smiled at her secretary. "No, that would be all for today. Thank you, Nanami." As the secretary exited Tsukushi's office, Doumyouji Kaede entered the room.  
  
Wearing a black Armani ensemble, Kaede looked every bit the indomitable matriarch of the Doumyouji Group of Companies. "You haven't been yourself lately. Is there anything wrong?"  
  
Tsukushi stood up and kissed Kaede's cheek by way of greeting. "No, Auntie. I'm fine. Just a bit preoccupied with things. How's everything in New York?" She offered Kaede a chair as she sat down behind her desk as well.  
  
Eversince Kaede offered to adopt Tsukushi and trained her personally, their initial relationship grew from jealousy and hatred to begrudging respect and limited trust into finally true friendship and caring. After acquiring her second degree, Tsukushi underwent training at the Maple chain of boutique hotels across the world. From the lowest position, she worked her way up the ladder of success, excelling in every department where she was placed in. Kaede tutored Tsukushi herself, from working her way to the top, to acquiring social polish, to handling various business ventures and profiting marvelously in them. And from her investments alone, Makino Tsukushi has been whispered around the Asian business circle to be worth $200M, of which she had acquired in only close to two years.  
  
Tsukushi, on the other hand, worked hard and always pushed herself to achieve perfection in everything she did. As Kaede showed her the ropes of hotel management, Tsukushi began to see the real Kaede behind her mask. Much to her disbelief, she found out that Kaede would donate huge amounts of money to various orphanages, build numerous charity hospitals, and fund numerous scholarships. The more they worked together, the more they got to know each other's characters.  
  
"Business is doing fine in New York." Kaede paused as she picked up a picture frame of Tsukasa on Tsukushi's baronial desk and seemingly examining it. "By the way, I heard you're going to Amanpulo for the weekend."  
  
Tsukushi looked up as she was about to call her secretary for tea, a surprised look on her face. "That's right. Hanazawa Rui invited me to his vacation house there, along with Akira's family for the weekend. But how did you know that?"  
  
Kaede placed the frame back to its original position and smiled serenely. "From Hanazawa himself. We saw each other in New York. He asked me if I wanted to go. I told him an old woman like me wouldn't have the energy for an adventure anymore."  
  
"Oh, Auntie! You haven't aged a bit, and I doubt you ever will. I know from fact that you've already discovered the Fountain of Youth from your archaeological digs! Please go with us. I'm sure you'll enjoy the fresh air and scenery there."  
  
Kaede just chuckled softly. "Well, I smell a romantic escapade coming so I wouldn't want to intrude." She paused and sat down on the chair before Tsukushi's desk. "You have been grieving far too long, Tsukushi. It's time you move on." Tsukushi's gaze unconsciously settled on Tsukasa's black-and-white picture on her desk. "I have moved on, Auntie. Why do you think I work so hard?"  
  
"Because there's nothing or no one else to occupy your life. Because you wanted to accomplish everything my son was supposed to achieve in his life. Because you want to pretend that you're doing all this for him, when in truth you simply want to be too tired come night time to feel or think of anything anymore. You're lonely, and you feel this much more around the success you have in life." Kaede's words struck a very deep chord.  
  
She tore her gaze from the picture. "Maybe, Auntie. Is that so bad? Not being able to let go?"  
  
Kaede smiled, wisdom and experience shining in her eyes. "Yes, my dear. It is wrong." She sighed, remembering her own lost love and Tsukasa's father. "One should always be able to get up after one's fall, however painful or humiliating as it may be. It's the very essence of life."  
  
A moment of silence followed, each having her reverie.  
  
"Hanazawa is a good man, Tsukushi," Kaede prodded gently, smiling again.  
  
"I know, Auntie. He is perfect, too perfect if I may say so."  
  
Kaede smiled warmly, laying her hand on Tsukushi's. "Too perfect for you? Why don't you let him decide who's perfect for him?"  
  
"Auntie, have you been seeing a psychiatrist," Tsukushi teased, trying to evade the question.  
  
There was a gentle knock on the door. Tea has arrived. Tsukushi poured Kaede a cup and helped herself to a sconce, laddling it with thick cream and strawberry jam.  
  
Kaede waited before Nanami has left the room and closed the door. "No, my sanity is still intact. Maybe you're the one who needs help." Kaede made a circling motion near her head.  
  
Tsukushi almost choked. "Auntie!"  
  
"Well, it's true. Look at what you've become. Do you not take pride in your accomplishments? Why, you even speak more European languages fluently than Toudou Shizuka!"  
  
A loud ring disrupted their relaxed conversation. Kaede answered her cellular phone while Tsukushi's teeth were arrested in biting the sconce. Really? Tsukushi smiled inwardly, placing the pastry on her Limoges plate and wiping her mouth delicately.  
  
Ending her call, Kaede placed her phone back inside her slim black alligator attaché case and stood up. "I have to go now, my dear. I have an appointment in a short while with the American ambassador." The two women kissed farewell. Tsukushi led Kaede to the door. "By the way, Toudou asked me to send you her warmest regards."  
  
"You have been to France?" Tsukushi asked as she opened the double doors out of her office. Stepping outside of her secretary's office, they proceeded to the elevator situated infront.  
  
Kaede pressed the elevator button. "I was in New York for the last two weeks." Preoccupied, Kaede glanced at her Cartier watch impatiently.  
  
Tsukushi persisted. "Shizuka resides in Paris. How did you see her then?" A nagging suspicion was forming in Tsukushi's mind. The elevator chimed and opened its doors. "I saw her in New York of course." Kaede stepped inside. "Hanazawa and Toudou were dining at La Côte Basque when they saw me come in for a dinner meeting with an English count. That was when Hanazawa invited me to join you and the Mimiasaka family in Amanpulo for the weekend." The elevator doors closed. Tsukushi stood there rooted to the floor. What was Toudou Shizuka doing in New York with Rui? 


	7. Prelude to Romance

CHAPTER 13  
  
I sat on the patio of my Mediterranean-style bungalow, basking in the early sunshine that Friday morning. My butler, Hamilton, set down the ornate silver tray with three dailies and my breakfast. I smiled at him while opening the business section of the New York Times.  
  
Hamilton, who has only been in my employment for three months now, was shocked that I smiled at him and left hurriedly. I could've sworn he just crossed himself now discreetly on his way back to the kitchen. I was grinning now.  
  
Eversince I got back from my cottage in Sendang with Tsukushi, my spirits have been flying high and had not once touched the ground. All throughout the week, people from my New York branch have been acting weird around me: the men, gaping whenever I would kid around with them, and the ladies...well, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a couple of them sighing dreamily when I gave one of my rare smiles. And I thought Soujiro and Akira were the only chick-magnets among the four of us.  
  
Of course everything had been perfect except for Wednesday. Shizuka had unexpectedly shown up in my office as I was on my way to a dinner meeting. She had been desperate to talk to me that she even begged me to cancel my meeting that night. I took her out for a quiet dinner as she poured out her story over wine and foie gras. At that moment, I saw Doumyouji Kaede walk inside the restaurant and excused myself from Shizuka to invite Aunt Kaede to Amanpulo. Thank goodness she didn't seem surprised to see Shizuka with me. She might mention it to Tsukushi though. I made a mental note to bring it up with her later.  
  
As I opened the business section of the Japanese newspaper that I was holding, I glanced at my Bulgari watch. I'll be fetching Tsukushi from the Doumyouji mansion in thirty minutes. Akira and his family will be meeting with us at the hangar of my jet at a nearby private airport.  
  
Five years ago, Akira had met Natsuko at Soujiro's father's birthday bash. She had just flown in from the States where she had studied the cello and acquired her degree in Music. It was not a very good beginning for Akira and Natsuko. Natsuko had overheard Akira belittling her before they were even introduced. Thus, I could imagine their shock when they found out that it was Natsuko whom Akira's mother had been pushing him to go out on a date with. It turned out that their mothers were childhood friends. It was a humbling experience for Akira as he had to swallow a lot of pride and chauffeur Natsuko around town to pacify his mother. She was the only woman who could really get under his skin. That he couldn't stand her was his often complaint. I had the suspicion then that Akira had been fighting off his attraction for Natsuko. He had finally met his match; here was a woman seemingly immune to his charms.  
  
On the day of her concierto, Natsuko told the audience that her last piece was dedicated to a boy she once loved and whom she vowed to return for in Japan. Akira bolted from his chair, not wanting to listen anymore. I couldn't help but smile when he grumbled and stood up. But as he was walking up the steps towards the exit, the faint strums of the cello reverberated in the hall. He paused and turned around. It had been his favorite song from childhood: the theme from Doraemon. Akira found out that Natsuko had been the pesky girl in pigtails and had a missing front tooth who always wanted to play with us when we were barely teens. Natsuko admitted that she had been in love with Akira all this time and had turned to playing the cello to forget him.  
  
Akira and Natsuko have two kids now; both are studying in London where their family is now based.  
  
I envy Akira's happiness. Things have been so simple for him. Just a one- shot deal and he's set for the rest of his life. I smiled sadly and sighed. Well, I just hope the gods are smiling down on my future nowadays.  
  
When I arrived at the Doumyouji mansion, Tsukushi was at the gazebo pouring over the quarterly financial reports. She was curled up on the seat, her dress carefully tucked in; she looked like a teenager reading a fashion magazine. I couldn't help it; I kissed her bare shoulder, which startled her. "Good morning," I greeted her, giving her a dimpled smile. This of course earned me a morning bop on my head. "Oww!"  
  
Tsukushi smiled angelically, fixing the reports again. "Serves you right for sneaking up on me, Hanazawa Rui!"  
  
Helping her up, I got the handful of papers in her hand and placed them on the table. "I did not sneak up on you. Your butler didn't announce me anymore. And please, don't bring your homework there. We're going there to relax. I forbid you to bring anything related to work."  
  
A guilty flush appeared on Tsukushi's cheeks. "You brought your laptop along, didn't you," I asked, raising an eyebrow. She nodded. "You've packed in inside your suitcase already, right?" She nodded once more. I grinned at her. "Well, looks like we'll have to leave your suitcase behind then."  
  
"Wha..What will I wear," Tsukushi asked, panic rising in her voice. "You're kidding right?"  
  
"Of course not, I told you not to bring your laptop last night. And yet, you still decided to bring it along. So now we'll have to leave your suitcase behind since it's already late and we don't have time to sort out your trunk." I paused, my hand under my chin. "As of what you're going to wear...maybe I could tell Akira to reschedule their visit to the cottage. Personally, I never had a problem with nudity but my godchildren will be there." I looked at Tsukushi with a wicked gleam in my eyes and wiggled my eyebrows.  
  
She whacked my arm this time, laughing. "You lecher! We better go or we'll be late." 


	8. Kushi Island

To my readers: Thank you so much for bearing with my silence for the past months. Things have been hectic at the hospital.  
  
Thank you, viel for giving me encouragement to continue the story i have in my mind.  
  
Thank you sheen for taking time to read and post comments. It's an honour.  
  
CHAPTER 14  
  
I never saw it coming, this disaster I was heading into.  
  
The moment the speedboat landed on my island, I saw her. She was standing on the beach, wearing a long, blue sarong dress. I stole a glance at Tsukushi. She was wearing a mixed expression of confusion and apprehension. I smiled to myself and nuzzled my face in her hair. She almost jumped.  
  
"I didn't invite her. I'm just as surprised as you to see her here."  
  
Tsukushi turned around, blushing. "Oh..yes, a pleasant surprise."  
  
I jumped off the boat, the warm water reaching my waist. "Come on, I'll carry you on my shoulder. You'll get your dress wet." Tsukushi slid off the edge and into my arms. I flipped her over my shoulder like a sack of rice before she could protest and laughed heartily all the way to the shore.  
  
"I'll get you for this, Hanazawa! You better start running once you put me down!" Tsukushi was screaming, kicking, and squirming.  
  
I smiled as I set her down. Tsukushi's face was beet red, her nostrils flaring, with hand fisted to her sides. "I love the way you squirm," I whispered languidly in her ear. Tsukushi was ready to strangle me when we became aware of 'her' presence.  
  
"Hi Tsukushi." She embraced Tsukushi and smiled at her. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in ages." Before Tsukushi could answer, she had moved on to me. Standing on her toes, she embraced me and kissed me on the mouth. I looked at Tsukushi; her mouth was hanging open. I disentangled myself from her. "Rui," she said, her eyes searching mine. "I've missed you."  
  
CHAPTER 15  
  
Shizuka. I should have known.  
  
Seeing Rui and Shizuka there, holding hands infront of me, with their eyes intent on one another, I felt like an intruder. How can I compete with someone such as her. She obviously came here because she wants Rui. There was a sudden heaviness in my heart that I could not comprehend.  
  
Realizing that my mouth had gone dry because it was left hanging open, I forced a smile to my frozen lips. I saw Rui look at me with concern and reassurance.  
  
Rui casually placed an arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer. "Shizuka, what a pleasant surprise. Have the Mimiasakas arrived? I hope we haven't kept you waiting long. Please." He motioned for us to walk towards the patio. I discreetly turned to Rui with a puzzled look. He just smiled.  
  
"Haven't seen them yet. I arrived around two hours before you," Shizuka replied, climbing the stairs infront of us. "The flight from New York was tiring. It was a good thing Elena helped me to a room. The weather's too balmy here."  
  
Rui squeezed my shoulders subtly. "How do you find the cottage?"  
  
The 'cottage' Rui was referring to was more like a private villa. Nestled on top of a hill that descended down to the beach, huge, circular, two- to three-storey cogon grass huts were interconnected by numerous glass-walled halls. Underneath these 'huts' were simulated bubbling brooks with cascading waterfalls following each tier of huts made out of black marble.  
  
I had to smile, despite the situation. Rui still calls this a cottage. "It's unbelievably breathtaking."  
  
"Good, I'm happy you liked it," he smiled boyishly, his dimple showing. "I'll tell you about this place once we've settled into our room." I raised an eyebrow at his emphasis.  
  
"Excuse me," Shizuka said rather loudly, cutting our conversation. "My hut is over there. I guess I'll see you guys later for lunch?" She was smiling, but I had the feeling she was irate.  
  
Rui answered instantly without taking his eyes off me. "Yes, yes of course. We'll ring you later."  
  
"See you, Shizuka," I replied, waving off but she had already turned her back on us.  
  
CHAPTER 16  
  
If I had found the villa impressive, the interior was absolutely splendid. It was not so much as a hotel that I expected it to be. It had a lived-in look, comfy... Just like...  
  
"Our cottage, Tsukushi." His arms crossed, Rui was leaning on the doorframe, intently observing my reaction.  
  
Oh God, he remembered so well. Everything here reminded me of those weeks I lived with him in that cottage he rented. When I ran away from everything...from Tsukasa.  
  
"It's beautiful, Rui. Thank you for bringing me here." I went over to the wooden balcony, admiring the view and taking in the salty breeze. "What a wonderful view."  
  
He was facing me while he leaned back against the single driftwood branch that was the balcony. "You're beautiful." He lowered his face to mine; I closed my eyes. Not as beautiful as her.  
  
I never thought humans could melt, but I certainly proved to myself that it wasn't impossible. I felt like butter on toast.  
  
"Pardon me?" Rui's lips didn't touch mine.  
  
I opened my eyes, perplexed. "What?" He was looking me as if I had lost my mind. "Huh?"  
  
"You said 'not as beautiful as her'."  
  
Oh, God. "I said that?" Heat from embarrassment was creeping up my neck. I leaned my back on the balcony.  
  
Rui gave one of his rare smiles. Butter on toast again. "I didn't invite Shizuka, Tsukushi." He stood infront of me, his hands braced beside mine on the balcony. "But I know why she came here." Sighing, he placed his hands on mine. He was looking off into the azure horizon, the calm of the sea reflected in his eyes. "Shizuka is after me. Or rather my money if you could believe it."  
  
"But why? Her family is one of the most prominent in Japan; their corporations are leading in the electronics and computer industries. She doesn't need money."  
  
"You don't understand, Tsukushi. Everything that you are and all that you have now, you have achieved them on your own. Even if you were to lose everything that you have right now, you know that you could always start from the beginning and get back all that you have lost." Rui brushed a strand of hair from my face and traced his finger along my jaw. His eyes locked into mine, studying me. "My wild grass, my Tsukushi. People may ignore the wild grass they step on; but in my world, it wouldn't be as green and as lovely without that emerald blanket."  
  
"Shizuka, on the other hand, grew up being handed with everything she could ever want. The best that money could provide. She never had to even want anything. And now that their businesses are failing, she's terrified of losing everything." Rui paused, his dark brown eyes softening. "We grew up together, knowing that our parents would arrange our marriage one day. But despite this, we grew up as close as a brother and sister could be. She was the one who pulled me out of my cocoon before; and for that I am forever grateful to her."  
  
I was lost in the everchanging expression in his eyes. "And then you fell in love with her," I finished for him.  
  
His eyes twinkled; a dimpled smile appeared. "Are you jealous, Tsukushi?" But before my hand was inching towards his waist to pinch him, he caught my hand without breaking eye contact and kissed my knuckles one by one. "Don't interrupt me." His fingers intertwined with mine. "I adored her. I thought I was in love with her. But what did I know? I was just 19 then, barely a man who has yet to see the world. I saw her as the rest of the world did, an erudite woman with beauty, talent, and prominent background. What was there that any man cannot resist?"  
  
"She broke my heart; you were there, you witnessed me at my worst. Yet even as I mourned and poured my heart out to you, knowing you had feelings for me, you stayed and comforted me. I had felt the pain of getting spurned; I knew then how difficult and confusing it was for you to be there that night on the beach as you embraced me and as I kissed you. It dawned on me at that time the biggest regret that I ever had." Rui's other hand combed thru my hair and brought it to his lips; his eyes closed. "That I had given away someone whom I fell in love with to my best friend."  
  
A tear trickled down his smooth cheek. "I figured out everything too late. I know how painful it was for you to have someone you love chasing another and so I decided not to fight for you because I did not want to hurt you ever again. I saw you fall in love with my best friend; that was my self-inflicted punishment--to love you as you loved one of my 'brothers.' And even during the darkest hours of your relationship, I was there for you to encourage you to fight for your love, Tsukasa. I was happy when you were reunited with him once more. I had the hardest time accepting that you could never be mine, but seeing you at your happiest eased my heart somewhat. So I left to try to forget."  
  
I had not realized that we were both in tears; his thumb was wiping them away. I never knew. He never told me this much before. All those moments of comfortable silence between us have been torture for Rui, knowing that it was Tsukasa whom I love. I let myself be led to the lounge bed on the balcony and sat on the edge.  
  
"Tsukushi, look at me."  
  
I looked at Rui thru my downcast eyes. His callused hand cupped my face. "I'm not letting you go this time." Then he kissed me. His soft lips met mine, molding them. 


End file.
